SAN FRANCISCO—Claiming they’ve finally cracked the code on what actually brings people together, tech startup Nemesis rolled out a dating app Tuesday that ditches traditional compatibility metrics in favor of matching users based entirely on the stuff they mutually despise.
“Look, we’ve all suffered through those painful first dates where you’re desperately searching for something—anything—in common,” said Nemesis founder Alexis Thornton, jabbing at her phone screen during a demo that kept freezing. “But then you both mention how much you hate people who walk slowly in grocery store aisles, and boom—instant connection. Three hours later you’re still bitching about your exes and having the time of your life.”
The app, which somehow racked up 200,000 downloads despite minimal marketing beyond some Reddit posts, forces new users to fill out what they call a “Hate Profile”—a weirdly extensive questionnaire where you rate how much various things make your blood boil, from political figures to people who say “expresso” instead of “espresso.”
“Tinder and Hinge and all those apps are still stuck on this outdated idea that shared interests matter,” said Thornton, who admitted she got canned from Tinder after suggesting they add a “mutual enemies” feature. “My husband and I connected over our shared hatred of cilantro—tastes like soap, obviously—and we’ve been happily complaining about the same things for eight years now. There’s actual research backing this up. Shared negativity creates stronger bonds than shared positivity. Google it.”
The app uses something called a “Spite Score” that measures both the intensity and specificity of users’ dislikes. According to Thornton, the more passionate and detailed your hatred, the better your matches will be.
Marcus Delgado, a 34-year-old graphic designer who’s been using the app since its beta testing phase, claims he met his girlfriend through a 98.7% hatred compatibility score based on their mutual loathing of cryptocurrency bros, people who clap when airplanes land, and whatever the hell happened in that final Game of Thrones season.
“Our first date lasted till 2 a.m. because we couldn’t stop ranting about influencers who say ‘link in bio’ like it’s some kind of accomplishment,” Delgado said, looking genuinely happy for perhaps the first time in his adult life. “I’ve never felt so… seen, you know? We’re getting a place together next month. Already have a shared note of things in our neighborhood that piss us off.”
The app includes several features that sound made up but apparently aren’t, including “Rage Rooms”—group chats where matched users can collectively hate on specific topics—and “Venom,” where you can anonymously submit new pet peeves to the company’s ever-expanding database of things to hate.
Dr. Marissa Chen, a relationship psychologist who clearly wasn’t thrilled about being interviewed for this story, reluctantly confirmed there’s some science behind the concept. “Yes, research does suggest that sharing negative attitudes about a third party can promote closeness more readily than sharing positive attitudes,” she said with a sigh. “But I have serious concerns about building an entire relationship on mutual disdain. What happens when you run out of things to hate together?”
Nemesis has somehow secured $42 million in venture capital funding, which says more about the state of tech investing than anything else. They’re planning premium features including “Grudge Match,” connecting users with shared vendettas against specific former employers, and “Hate Date,” which deliberately sends couples to experiences guaranteed to trigger their shared dislikes.
“We’re also working on this AI thing that can predict what else you’ll hate based on your existing hatreds,” Thornton added, clearly making up statistics on the spot. “If you hate pineapple on pizza and people who say ‘we’re pregnant,’ our algorithm can predict with like 87% accuracy that you’ll also hate gender reveal parties and those LinkedIn posts that start with ‘I’m humbled to announce…’”
At press time, Nemesis was reportedly dealing with an unexpected problem they definitely should have seen coming: users finding love through their shared hatred of dating apps, then deleting their accounts.
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